Fiddle Faddle, Quater Pounders, and Corn Dogs

My dad, Vonn Jess Jenkins, was the king of finding something he likes and sticking to it.

 Sticking to it might actually be an understatement. 

It is more like he found something he liked and then beat it to a pulp until there was nothing left in it to discover. 

His three most famous facets were:

Fiddle Faddle

Quarter Pounders with Cheese

and Corn Dogs

Random? 

EXTREMELY.

There were never intertwined or overlapped. 

Each of these foods took up a good four month chunk of his "diet."

No one appreciates food more than me. 

It isn't just food though. 

It has to be delicious food. 

My personal favorite meal, hands down, that will get my taste buds 

dancing every time is...

Mac a Roo 'n Cheese from Outback

Me and my dad are alike in many ways, but he took this to an all new extreme. 

It was almost nightly that he would be laying on the couch watching Food Network thinking of things to sooth his pallet. 

Then, he would yell out. "who wants to do me a favor?"
If I was in my room, he would keep yelling until I came out. sometimes he would even let out one of his piercing whistles.
The next line would be, "will you go get me (insert current craving)?"
He would always say it as if he hadn't had a glass of water in 5 months though.
I would most likely say no, due to the fact I couldn't drive.
Then he would say one of two things:
"I will give you all the money in my wallet." (knowing he didn't have any)
or
"Fine, I will remember this next time you ask me to do something for you."

Either way, I knew that in five minutes I would be on my way to either Mcdonalds or Scolaris, our local grocery store that happened to have really good corn dogs and fiddle faddle.

My dad was stalwart.
Unchanging in his opinions, and morals.
He was the type of person who you couldn't argue with because no matter how right you knew you were, he would somehow convince you that he was right and by the end you would both be arguing the same point.

He coined the phrase "don't ya go changing" in our house.
I rarely walked out the front door without my dad yelling this, and my brother yelling
"protect your carnal treasure!"

I made lots of friends.

My dad did have lots of friends though. He was the guy that everyone thought was his best friend, but only he knew who his really good friends were.


He has been a great example of being who you are, and loving it.

So to you dad, I title my blog "Don't You Go Changing."

Barbie Roller Skates

For most children, becoming potty trained is something to be proud of..... not for me. My experience of learning this common everyday practice was quite the opposite.

For the record: This is how I remember the story/ how it has been told me. It probably isn't one hundred percent accurate. 

So my brother, Jesse, thought it would be funny to teach me how to use the toilet. That's not the funny part, the funny part is that he taught me to sit backwards on the toilet. This wasn't a problem, and my mother wasn't aware of this problem until one day when I was wearing my BARBIE ROLLER SKATES. 

They looked exactly like these. 

I loved these skates with all my heart. 

I wasn't the most coordinated child in the world, however. So, to counter act my lack of skill  I would roller skate inside on our carpet. That way when I fell I wouldn't get hurt. I was a smart kid. 

So anyway, One day before I commenced my usual skating, I decided to wheel myself right into my bathroom. I popped a squat on my toilet, only I was backwards, and not all the way on. 

Problem?

Yes. 

I was completely unaware of this until I got up and couldn't seem to keep my balance. 

Me+ lack of coordination+barbie roller skates+the problem on the floor= 

me slipping multiple times into the mess and unfortunately getting it all over me. 

My mom heard the commotion coming from the bathroom and came rushing in.

When she tried to do the math, she couldn't add it up. 

I can't remember the look on her face, but I can imagine it looked something like this.

 

She asked me what happened and when she heard my brother laughing hysterically from the hall, I think it all became clear. 

This is why I blame you, Jesse Jenkins, for all of my weird obscurities. 

Don't worry. I have learned to sit the right way.