childness

I was a weird child. Let's just get that out in the open. There are so many times when I hear stories a or look back, and I ask myself,
WHY WAS ANYONE MY FRIEND?

Some parents try and cover up the fact that their kid was fat or something by saying, "no, you were so cute."
My family, on the contrary, just rubs it in my face.

They have been telling me since I was little that I was adopted. 

They also told me that Jack from Jack in the box was my real father because I had somewhat of a larger head.

I've grown into it. 

Or, so I would like to think.

There was a reason my head was so big; it was filled with all these crazy ideas that the older generation just hadn't thought of yet.

My first "brilliant" idea was pretty dang good for a first grader. 

I think at the time I had been hearing a lot about the cost of electricity.
I was determined to find a way to eliminate the need for lights completely. 

My room had a semi-circle window that was uncovered.
At night I could see up into the sky.  

It always amazed me how bright the moon was.
It was so far away, yet it shined right into my window and made it possible for me to see everything. 

One time, I remember coming up with the idea to go to the moon, take some rocks and bring them back down to earth.

These wouldn't be just for collecting.
We would use them to light our entire house.  

See in my mind, I though the moon was made of glow in the dark rocks.
I thought they would look somewhat like this:

Or this for the high class type:

My mom was really supportive of my ideas, apparently, cause she never corrected my logic.
(Thanks for not crushing my dreams)

I don't think it was until sixth grade that I finally figured out the moon didn't glow on its own... the sun lights it. 

I was pissed. 

I remember walking home down Mayberry Rd. with crushed spirits. 

I walked inside and asked my mom if she knew that the moon glows at night because of the sun?
She said yes (obviously) and looked at me like I had three heads.
It was at this moment that I started questioning all if my other ideas to fix the world.

And one by one, they all fell apart.

Another real winner was my idea to photo copy paper and POOF you had another sheet. Then we wouldn't have to cut down trees.
I eventually figured that one was going to work. I didn't even need adult intervention that time though!

I also didn't understand why everyone spoke different languages.
Don't they translate it into English in their minds to understand?
The answer is no. They don't.

After all these failed attempts, I simply gave into the fact that our world is flawed and I can't fix them.

One day I will put a moon rock in my room, just to make me laugh, and to soak up how ridiculously brilliant I was in first grade.